Jen Bingham

Writer

Talk of the Town: Blind Items about People Nobody Knows

What dark haired, fair-skinned young lady was spotted recently with a group of other twenty-something friends at a woman’s rights rally in downtown Indianapolis?

She carried a “My Body My Choice” sign and discussed a friend who wasn’t there, mentioning that the person in question was white several times.

“She tans all the time and her ass is huge, so I admire her for that,” she said.

Then she segued into a discussion of her racist dad.

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What 27 year old ginger gentleman who had the hair and forehead of a middle-aged dad and who could best be described as “rocking a gay hippie vibe” was recently overheard talking loudly about his life on a flight from Chicago to Connecticut?

“My grades are very well,” he said to the woman in front of me, projecting his voice so loudly that I felt very sad I’d forgotten to bring headphones and had been too cheap to purchase a pair at the airport. “So I’m thinking of going to graduate school.”

He then proceeded to detail every aspect of his life to the lady beside him, who did not seem to mind this exchange, although she consistently spoke in a very soft voice, as if wishing to influence his volume.

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What fifty-something dad at the airport in Indianapolis spoke very quietly to his wife and their crowd of ten-and-under children as we waited in adjacent lines to be checked through security?

The line was not excessively long, but longer than is normal at the Indianapolis airport. This may have been in part because of the upcoming Easter holiday but was also almost certainly because of the recent violence in Brussels. There was an electric, alarming energy.

“It’s because of the liberals,” he said softly to his wife. “We know who it is and they could just search them, but the liberals have made it so they have to search everybody. These people  probably aren’t even from this country.” He gestured to several people who were not white in the line in front of him. There was no way to tell whether they were residents of the United States although all of them were dressed in traditional Western garb of pants and shirts of varying degrees of casualness.

He was speaking so softly, I wasn’t sure I was hearing what he said. I looked over at him. His hair was white, his skin was white. In my memory, even his eyes are white. He looked a little bit like an even paler Ted Cruz.

His wife dropped backed to talk to the kids behind them, I sensed an air of dissatisfaction about her, as if she were tired of his diatribes against liberals and people of color.

One of the other kids was right next to him now. He repeated almost exactly the same words about liberals, airport searches, etc. Again, I could barely hear him, wasn’t sure if he was really saying the things he was saying. I moved over, looking at my phone but hoping to hear him speak clearly.

He may have noticed my presence.

“You don’t need to let anyone know your opinion,” he said softly as a ghost to his child as if realizing it might be inappropriate to discuss his own opinions about liberals and foreigners to the folks manning the security kiosk. This time I could hear his snakelike voice more clearly. “When you get up there, don’t volunteer your opinions.”

The line moved forward. He wasn’t ready with his ID and two of his children were in front of him in line. The security guard seemed annoyed and he began fishing around for his ID and tickets, trying to make jokes.

No one seemed to think he was funny.

 

 

This image is available from the United States Library of Congress‘s Prints and Photographs division under the digital ID cph.3c37305.

 

4 Comments

  1. Are these real? If they are, I shuddered at each story. If they’re not, you’ve got a great brain for made up details, and I need to absorb this knowledge from you.

    • Jen

      April 11, 2016 at 2:31 pm

      Yup, they are real! Sadly. And I think you can learn to either make stuff up or steal directly just by eavesdropping. 🙂

  2. “She tans all the time and her ass is huge, so I admire her for that.”
    Was the friend admired because although she has a huge ass, she nonetheless tans all the time? Or did she admire her friend’s tan and her huge ass, à la Kim Kardashian?

    “My grades are very well, so I’m thinking of going to graduate school.”
    Okay, this is an ironic statement which I’m certain you noted. Because in order to do well in graduate school he should be saying “My grades are very good.” Or in the current or possibly passé vernacular, “My grades are sick.”

    The last story is most Twilight Zoney. A nervous nearly albino Ted Cruz-like man, suspicious of people of color and foreigners, decries liberals forbidding profile searches, never suspecting Jen Bingham, the woman overhearing his sotto voce irritation, is the actual terrorist boarding the plane!

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