space checkout


I’m at the grocery store buying blackberries, three slices of watermelon, and some grocery-store sushi.  Of course, I go through self checkout, because the line is shorter and also, I hate people. Self checkout is often more time consuming and louder than interacting with a real person. But I don’t care!

The machine isn’t gonna let me get out of there without talking to someone though. Even though I just came from hot yoga and am dripping with sweat.

Self checkout machine to me, “You need attention from the cashier.”

Me to checkout guy, reading what I now remember to be a Redwall novel: “Hey, the machine says I need your attention.”

Checkout guy, cheerily: “YOU’RE the cashier!”

He’s young with curly blonde hair and sort of a dark, hard to remember amount of facial hair.

Me; “Wow, that’s exciting!”

CG gets that I’m being sarcastic and is on board but only marginally interested. He actually gets up and comes toward the machine.  “Yes, it’s very empowering. Just choose your payment method and you can check yourself out!”

He points at the main screen and I realize I forgot to do that. I forgot to choose the payment method! What a damn fool. How am I going to live in the machine-centric society that I’m hoping for if I can’t even press the right buttons?

CG goes back to reading Redwall novel. I check myself out and leave quietly.