Jen Bingham

Writer

Month: August 2015

Your Sunday Comic

Sometimes good advice hurts.

Maybe you should just go ahead and buy a lottery ticket, too.

From Extra Fabulous Comics

From Extra Fabulous Comics

I did not make this cool comic! Click on the art for more from EFC.

Self Checkout

space checkout

 

I’m at the grocery store buying blackberries, three slices of watermelon, and some grocery-store sushi.  Of course, I go through self checkout, because the line is shorter and also, I hate people. Self checkout is often more time consuming and louder than interacting with a real person. But I don’t care!

The machine isn’t gonna let me get out of there without talking to someone though. Even though I just came from hot yoga and am dripping with sweat.

Self checkout machine to me, “You need attention from the cashier.”

Me to checkout guy, reading what I now remember to be a Redwall novel: “Hey, the machine says I need your attention.”

Checkout guy, cheerily: “YOU’RE the cashier!”

He’s young with curly blonde hair and sort of a dark, hard to remember amount of facial hair.

Me; “Wow, that’s exciting!”

CG gets that I’m being sarcastic and is on board but only marginally interested. He actually gets up and comes toward the machine.  “Yes, it’s very empowering. Just choose your payment method and you can check yourself out!”

He points at the main screen and I realize I forgot to do that. I forgot to choose the payment method! What a damn fool. How am I going to live in the machine-centric society that I’m hoping for if I can’t even press the right buttons?

CG goes back to reading Redwall novel. I check myself out and leave quietly.

 

Your Sunday Comic

Hellow. This is long and wordy, but oh so funny!

 

From Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

From Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

I did not make this funny comic. Click on the art to see more!

Your Sunday Comic

That’s what’s up.

From Poorly Drawn Lines

From Poorly Drawn Lines

I did not draw this cool comic, click on the art to see more from this guy, whose name is Reza Farazmand .

How to Write Using Details That Are Unintentionally Hilarious

Now that we can all rest easy in the knowledge that slain lion Cecil’s “brother,” Jericho, is still alive, I feel comfortable remarking on this awesome news report by Gawker. Since I almost started crying when I saw the report of Jericho’s death pop up on Saturday night, I didn’t feel comfortable mocking the manner in which I received the news right away.

“Cecil the lion’s brother Jericho, who is also a lion,” is a perplexing bit of wordsmithery .  At what stage was this fact thought a necessary add in? Did the writer compose or did it slip in during the editing process? Is there anyone who would question whether the brother of a lion is, in fact, another lion? We may never know. But we will be able to savor this sweet bit or writing for all eternity.

This is all aside from the fact that CNN reported on the lion’s death without doing a lot of fact checking (does it seem that this is an ongoing theme with them?) and also aside from the fact that Jericho is not an actual brother to poor, slain Cecil. They were more “bros” as they had formed some sort of lion bond that is rare among male lions.

Current reports indicate that Jericho is eating a giraffe.  It is not known whether Jericho paid anyone to lure the giraffe out of a protected environment at night and then shone a spotlight into its face before shooting it with a bow and arrow. My limited knowledge of lion behavior indicates that this is unlikely, however.

Possibly, the lionesses the Jericho hangs out with killed the giraffe and then Jericho came along and ate it. Where’s the outrage on that, Internet?

jericho

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