As far as I can tell this isn’t an elaborate hoax.
That is really the copy that someone wrote for “Gavin” cologne. As in, Gavin MacLeod, the guy who was the Captain on the Love Boat.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaand it’s listed as “Gavin. A new fragrance from Hormel.” Like, the people who make SPAM.
I think I need a trash can next to my bed tonight. If I wake up and think of this, I may start vomiting again.
The if-you’re-reading-this-I’m-already-dead trope as a second preface would generally mark the point I stop reading. But I plowed onward through some 90s-era narrative metaconfusion that was suddenly dropped partway in. On through the abhorrent use of the present tense. On through the weird absence of scanners that could create a PDF that would instantly end all the drama. On through the weirder insistence that publishing a book in physical form is a likely end goal for someone intent on taking down a media empire.
This patience was eventually rewarded by some enjoyable forward momentum that held my interest pretty strongly.
Verdict: If you can put up with the bullshit described above, this book is pretty fun and has some smart moments.
Genre: Action/Adventure with Unrealistic Plot
Disclaimer: I received this book from the Blogging for Books program in exchange for this review.
You asked. God answered. Sort of.
From time trabble
Is what this rabbit is saying.
Just kidding. RABBITS CAN’T TALK.
They are known to drink heavily though and this rabbit is seriously ordering a gin & tonic with her eyes.
So if you haven’t read Achewood, by Chris Onstad, maybe you should. It starts in October 2001 and continues to this very day. Go back in time and start from the beginning? It will make your life better. Here’s a funny one from 2002.
The strip got pretty sporadic and sometimes incomprehensible after 2010.
Summer colds are the worst!
- Fever/body aches
- Reading a 42-page recap of an old Downton Abbey episode
- Angry at partner for refusing to make “dog bone soup” out of a real dog
- Your bed has become a physical part of your body with wants and needs of its own
- Vomiting up Cadbury Cream Eggs that are completely edible (but no one will eat them)
- Dancing in the work cafeteria while sweat pours down your face
- A cloud of gnats spells out “You’re dying” whenever you look out the window
- Ate your sister’s placenta
- Marlene Dietrich’s ghost tries to talk to you about work/life balance, but you’re tired of her bullshit
- Crying in the shower because you’re not good enough to be neighborhood association vice president, even if you did get the required votes (3)
- Wearing a feathered mask to your custody hearing because it “worked really well in Eyes Wide Shut”
- You’re convinced that Taylor Swift’s has a plan to poison everyone in Thailand so that the sex tour you booked will be useless
- Toenails and fingernails fell off and were replaced by claws
- Smell like grandma right before she died
- Cory Booker just stopped by to check on you
This is a bunny. In a basket. On a miniature bike. Enjoy!
From the Internet, could not find source
You gotta get paid. In this life and the afterlife.
From Poorly Drawn Lines
I’ve really been letting people down in the Putting Cute Animals on the Internet department.
So here you go. The cutest tiny kitten in a top hat. Pretty sure this cat talks exactly like Oliver Twist.
What would you do if you were going to die?
From A Softer World
Alt text: How can anything be worth anything if it lasts forever?